Let's try it again.
The Head Versus Heart battle has subsided after all these years, and the war with myself had found a ceasefire. I'm comfortable with who I am, and the choices I've been making lately. Actually, not comfortable. I'm happy with who I am, and that's a very big thing for me, and many others, I'm sure.
When I realized I felt this way about myself, there was a new feeling within me. A feeling I've never felt before. When a new feeling finds it's way to me, I try to repel it in fear, but this feeling, I grasped and refused to let go.
While this feeling dwelled within me, I thought to myself "Is this what it's like to be complete?", and that was a pretty stupid thought. I'm not complete, I'm sixteen. I've got 60+ years ahead of me yet, and everything I've overcome so far (eg. Clare, depression to an extent, getting kicked out), has prepared me for the world beyond what I know.
I feel as though I've been made anew, but that I'm still the same person. Dem-Justin, and Neo-Justin (the Justin the public see) are now living as one. This way, I don't live as two halves, but as one whole. Demi-Justin has laid dormant, but now I want him to see my world, and live it like Neo-Justin does.
All this realization, and it's all because of a girl.
It's not that I've met this girl, or that I have feelings toward this girl, but she saw a side of me others have seen, but that I've always ignored, or rejected the existance of. Funnily enough, when she shows me this side of myself, I don't ignore it, but I take it in and, embrace it.
Of course the new school may be responcible also, but that's too predictable.
Love, all of the time.
<3
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