Kiss me hard,

HEY GUIZE, LET'S GO TO MASLIN BEACH~

I think I'll just post all my blogs in Arial or Verdana from now on.

Um, the past few days have been really good.

Friday night, as per usual, was spent in the city. This time, I was with Cameron, Emiljia, and for a part of the night, Patrick, Stephanie, Christopher, Joseph, Ella, Emma, Matthew, some some year nine from school, I suspect to be Left4Dead from MySpace. The collection of people, which was Christopher through to the year nine I suspect to be Let4Dead from MySpace left, at around five o'clock, which left Cameron, Stephanie, Patrick, and myself. We later decided to rendezvous with Emiljia, which was then we decided to stroll. Patrick had a "surprise" for Stephanie, which was to see the Northern Lights on North Terrace, and he asked us not to accompany him. He made the fatal flaw of telling me what said surprise was, so Emiljia, Cameron and I decided to tag along, at a distance.

On the way to North Terrace, some young men, or European deceent (more commonly known as Wogs) began harassing Cameron and myself, as we were with Emiljia, who they declared as a "beautiful lady". Sure, they're right, but to abuse us because of who we associate with, that's low. Even then, they called Cameron and I emo, bus we ignored this, and continued on our merry way to North Terrace. We could not see Patrick or Stephanie at first, so we decided to strut along North Terrace, trying to locate the pair. We sat for a bit, playing Cameron's Ocarina, and that was cool. An Afghan woman asked if we knew where the "Uni Bar" was, as we were near one of the many, many entrances to The University of Adelaide, and Emiljia, with her good nature, and good heart and stuff, offered to take this Afghan woman to the Uni Bar. Cameron and I, being gentlemen, accompanied her. Cameron received a telephone call from his father, asking if he and his friends wished to come and have some drinks at the General Havelock Hotel, on Hutt Street. We then decided to scrap the idea of trying to find Patrick and Stephanie, and we head to the bar.

We turned down From Street, and who do we see? Patrick and Stephanie of course. I tried to convince them to ignore the Northern Lights, and come with us to the Havelock, but no. Patrick's stubborn and such. Oh well. It was out of our hands. Emiljia was then complaining she was thirsty, so she bought a two litre juice. After some time walking, we soon arrived at the Havelock, and we sat with Cameron's family, and drank juice, and ate the leftovers of a platter. Emiljia soon left, which gave Cameron and I time to chats, and rape on BBS. Friday night.

Saturday wasn't as good, but really good all the same. I spent the day with Matthew James Muth. He, as always, drove me to the doctors. We then returned to my place or residence, and I played Wii, and we ate cake. We then decided to drive to Dave's house, so Muth could collect a junker (semi-working computer) and tune up Dave's. We then returned to my place of residence, and sat around there (I played Wii).

Saturday was pretty lazy.

Friday night was amazing.

Bars every Friday night imo.

There's been something on my mind. It doesn't take a genius to work out what's on my mind.

The same dilemma runs through my head. To proceed, or not to. I want to disregard the risk, but I can't, it's not like me. I can't reveal my feelings, as that would prove dangerous.

You know who you are.

Talk to me.

Turn up the radio.

Macalania Woods

Someone should take me there.

I'd like to go there.

Fuck the fiends, it'd be nice.

Once again, I'm single, just like it should be. I fucked up pretty bad, and it all started over something tiny, and insignificant. Nadia read my blog, Prosperi-T, posted on the eighteenth of February, before her and I even started dating. Here's what she was enraged by:

"People would know I've developed feelings for a girl, and if you're one of the people who didn't, I'm sure it doesn't come as a surprise.

I now suspect I may have feelings for two other girls also. One' a recent addition in my life, and the other is a friend who I've come close to.

Prosperi-T to whoever guesses whom!"

Go figure.

It's my fault, sure, but it's not my fault that Nadia acted this way, over something I felt before we even began to date. Sure, I still do have feelings for one of the two, and, to a degree, Nadia herself, but, fuck it.

I'm not in a position to be in a relationship. This misery won't go away.

I'm not going to bring someone's mood because of it.

I'm still a depressive fuck.

I'm failing school.

I'm not doing work.

Pass the scotch.

Don't be.

I think, that I'm generally unhappy. I think, being comfortable is being sad. I don't like feeling like this, but as it happens, this is my most common emotion.

It's normal for me to be sad, I've learnt that over the years. I think being sad comes with being alone. Sure, I'm happy, on occasion, but in the long run, I'm a sad person.

Friends make me happy, being occupied makes me happy, Nadia makes me happy, being bored leaves me in thought, and makes me sad.

Naturally, no one likes being sad, but I'm used to it. Ironic in a way, I've grown accustomed to a feeling I hate.

This isn't over baby,

Don't believe a word they said.

I don't even know anymore.

It's Saturday the 20th of February, and I'm tired.

I have a cup of tea, (yup, the nice one) and I'm considering a shower.

I've also broken Lent. Go me!

This weekend is purely for homework, and sleeping, so don't ask me to go out.

I'll be in town today, to survey people on their views of Scientology, and interviewing a custodian of the Church of Scientology, and a priest about the "religion."

My computer though, won't print the survey, so either someone with a printer will have to print fifteen copies of said survey out for me, or I'll have to hand write fifteen copies of said survey.

Uh, last night was the opening night of the Adelaide Fringe 2010. People were all like "It'll be so much fun!" but it wasn't. I inhaled copious amounts of smoke, thanks to passive smoking, I got spat on, and I dislike crowds.

Although, the night wasn't in vain. I spent the night with a girl. Her name is Nadia Louise Sack.

If it wasn't for her, I probably would have just gone home, or not even gone at all.

Oh, and of about eleven hours ago, I'm dating her.

Epic win!

:]

Oh, Muth, how was your night after you left and I didn't call you?

:3

My tea is gone, and I am hungry, and I need to pee, and I want to shower.

LOVE~~

Prosperi-T

I suggest you all try it from your nearest T-Bar, or contact me while I've still got some.

Thanks Debbeh for introducing it to me.

Well, I've completed fourteen days at Gelnunga International High School. So far, so good.

People are nice. Teachers are different. Subjects are good.

Five minute walk from home is better.

>:]

Odds are, this post will just be a log of my thoughts.

Recently, I've been sad. My post on the fifteenth may explain this a small bit. This sadness has gotten me down a lot, and I've been falling behind on school work.

This weekend has been set aside for homework, and sleeping.

Um, I've finally got a haircut, so that means all three of my New Years Resolutions have been completed.

Epic.

There's a dimly lit photo on Facebook of my new haircut, if you're at all interested.

I've been told I look cute with it, and it looks better.

People would know I've developed feelings for a girl, and if you're one of the people who didn't, I'm sure it doesn't come as a surprise.

I now suspect I may have feelings for two other girls also. One' a recent addition in my life, and the other is a friend who I've come close to.

Prosperi-T to whoever guesses whom!

Um, my back really hurts.

This blog's shit.

Love.

Worlds are ruined this way.

I'm in supervised study, and I'm not even going to try my Legal Studies homework without my textbook, so I'm blogging.

Basically, this will be a glancing explination of last night, which will explain my last blog.

Yesterday.
February the fourteenth.
Valentines Day.
My second most hated date.

Sure, there are people who hate it just because there's no one in their life to spend it with, but those people are idiots. Celebrate Broentines instead. But, I'm not one of those idiots. I hate it, because it reminds me of things I wish didn't happen, things I can't explain for the life of me. The events which occoured three-hundred-and-sixty-six days ago (for the lazy, that would be 14/02/2009), are horrific, and the events which followed, were worse. I'm not proud of what happened, and it consumes me with guilt. It causes me to see myself in a way which makes me both the protaginist and antagonist in the war with myself.

If for some reason, curiosity posesses you, and you do wish to ask what happened, feel free. If you're someone I don't trust, I don't like, or if you just generally annoy me at times, you won't get a straight answer. As always, I'll never lie, but if you're a part of the mentioned groups, I'll avoid the truth.

Valentines, also reminds me of the other two most hated dates in history.

The third most hated, is May 17th, 1999. The date where my father left. My heart was torn in two. A five year old boy, torn from his father, who is the biggest role model in a boys life. My life from then, went down hill. Many counselors and therapists have certified that this date, has caused my depression, and anger issues.

December 21st, 2009, is the date which I want to repeat the most. The day, where my mother remarried. She married Jeffery Davis, a seven foot, lanky bastard, who deserves nothing, and honestly, I hope he gets less. He is to blame, for me living at my grandmothers. He is to blame, for my auntie's relationship with my mother to have gone up in smoke. He is to blame, for everything since May. I'd be lying if I said, that if I were in a room with him, I'd let him leave alive. He has brought upon the downfall of the McCulloch line, and he will suffer my wrath.

If you're one of the very few, who regard me as a good person, get to know me.
One or two people regard me as "perfect", and not only is "perfection" a lie, I am nowhere near "perfection" standards. I beg of these people, change your views on me, I'll only let you down.

I'm not going to use my usual signoff of "Love." as I've no idea what emotions are causing havock in my head, and in my heart anymore. So, in lued of "Love...."

Null.

In my defeat.

I really wanted this period of happiness to last a while.

Nadia, thank you for making me happy.

As fleeting as it was, it felt amazing.

I fucking hate Valentines Day.

You simply say it,

I tried posting this last night, and my phone went flat, whilst charging.
Let's try it again.

The Head Versus Heart battle has subsided after all these years, and the war with myself had found a ceasefire. I'm comfortable with who I am, and the choices I've been making lately. Actually, not comfortable. I'm happy with who I am, and that's a very big thing for me, and many others, I'm sure.

When I realized I felt this way about myself, there was a new feeling within me. A feeling I've never felt before. When a new feeling finds it's way to me, I try to repel it in fear, but this feeling, I grasped and refused to let go.

While this feeling dwelled within me, I thought to myself "Is this what it's like to be complete?", and that was a pretty stupid thought. I'm not complete, I'm sixteen. I've got 60+ years ahead of me yet, and everything I've overcome so far (eg. Clare, depression to an extent, getting kicked out), has prepared me for the world beyond what I know.

I feel as though I've been made anew, but that I'm still the same person. Dem-Justin, and Neo-Justin (the Justin the public see) are now living as one. This way, I don't live as two halves, but as one whole. Demi-Justin has laid dormant, but now I want him to see my world, and live it like Neo-Justin does.

All this realization, and it's all because of a girl.

It's not that I've met this girl, or that I have feelings toward this girl, but she saw a side of me others have seen, but that I've always ignored, or rejected the existance of. Funnily enough, when she shows me this side of myself, I don't ignore it, but I take it in and, embrace it.

Of course the new school may be responcible also, but that's too predictable.

Love, all of the time.
<3

MUTH'S BLOG: SPOILER

Well, during my homework procrastination, Muth and I were chatting on Windows Live Messenger, while he was drafting his blog.

He sent me this by mistake:

"But with this idea here, a new programmer, a design document which is coasting along quite nicely, and plans to create several games in varying genres based on this world we're making... >;D"

That's all I got.

From what I see here, he has met someone who codes as well, and is to assist Muth in production, and artistic designs, for his game, which is being called by a working name, "Project Phoenix."

From what I've read, and what I've been told, it's to be a FPS (First Person Shooter for those who are retarded), set in a time where the Human race has begun to colonize in space, possible in the outer atmospheres, on the Moon, or in space stations.

I said it was Warhammer 40000: Fire Warrior crossed with Starcraft, or something, I don't know.

To read up more of Muth's amazing blog, head to http://lightningdelta.blogspot.com/

He updates every Saturday, and drafts throughout the week, so you'll have a pretty in-depth view of game production, and his real life encounters with other humans, although they are becoming less and less.

In Rainbows

I'm a moth, who just wants to share your light.

MAAAAAAAAAN

Such a good weekend n________________n

Well, it started, as it does, on a Saturday morning. My mornings usually start with Wii, seeing as both the TV remote and Wii-mote and nun-chuck are in easy reach. Soon after, I decide to make a cup of tea, and have a bowl of Froot Loops, and go on the computer.

I do this, and get about half way through both the tea, and the Froot Loops, and then Steph's knocking on my door (she left her art book and her Macbeth script here friday night), and then she offered me a lift to town with her brother.

We went to town, and all that jazz, because she wanted to get a portion of her hair cut off, and while she was doing this, I saw Nick (who left his phone at mine too), and Julian. We watched some crazy magician, and some crazy monkey puppets. I then saw Sam, and I left their company.

Originally, I was going to town, because of a band meeting. I was only planning to attend for a few minutes, as I quit the band, and I was just there to announce why and stuff, but seeing as Joey and Vince didn't make the rendezvous, I went off with Patrick, Cameron and Steph (who were passing at the time of my leaving), to see Chris, Ryan and Ella.

We saw these people and then we decided to go to McDonalds because Patrick wanted noms. We then saw Anon protesting at the Balls, against Scientology of course (Religion is free, $cientology is neither), and we bought a Guy Fawkes mask (IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO GUY FAWKES IS, OR THE RELEVANCE TO ANON, GET OFF THE INTERNET), They got their noms, and then we decided to go to Tom's work, because he wanted me to be a bad customer.

We arrived at Tom's place of occupation, the Tandy's on Unley Road (we walked half way to Cross Road before we called him), and we were browsing, and then Patrick ruins it, by saying "hi" and then Tom and his (surprisingly cool) manager were all friendly and stuff, so we hung around there for a while.

Later on, Patrick, Ella, and I went to Woolworths in the Unley Shopping Center, while Chris and Ryan waited for the bus back into town. When we're finished in Woolworths, Ella decided to go home. Patrick and I walk out, and Chris and Ryan are still there waiting for the bus, so we wait with them a bit. Patrick decides to also catch this bus, so I start walking back to Tom's work when the bus comes.

Tom's finishing close, and his manager slaps me in the face with a wad of cash. I smiled. Tom and I start walking, back to his place, and we found a coat hanger and a baby's toy along the way. Tom mangles the coat hanger, and I still have the baby's toy. We arrive at his place of residence, say hay to his mother, and we head upstairs.

We play nintendos and computer, like reading up on wincest and secret's you'd only tell /b/. We also read some Brawl In The Family, and we sleep. Pretty productive if you ask me.

HAPPY SUNDAY

I layed in bed when I first woke up, on my phone on the Facebook, and all that jazz. Tom got up, and went to the toilet, so I went on the 'puter and put on the Guy Fawkes mask. He came back and lol'd.

We then did stuff, until about eleven, when we then went to town. We met up with Debbie, and then Patrick and Steph. WE HAD FUNZ.

We went to the T-Bar, and got a pot of tea, it was really really nice. We sat there, talking for a while, and then we went to the Myer Center, when we planned to go to the Barracks/The Tunnels. We had to wait around for Steph's mother, so I played some DJ Hero.

We sat in the food court for ages, and then we went to the Botanics. SO MUCH FUN, WE INFLATED CONDOMS (Well, I inflated condom), and it was good fun all round.

Uh, oh! I also went to the Zoo with Sasha! It was so good to see bears (NO, NOT THOSE HORRIBLE PANDAS), and it made me happy, but the zoo was over crowded, and shit. I'm not going back until they get rid of those stupid pandas.

The grave that you refuse to leave.

Green ice tea? Check.
Dashboard Confessional playing? Check.
Fan on? Check.
Let's blog.

Well, I've had two days at Glenunga International High School, and so far, I think it's great. Note, I'm comparing this to Underdale, so, go figure. Uh, I've found a place in a group of friends, so, that's a positive. I have good lessons, like ST2 Health and Psychology, which is a probably career path for me.

The Head Versus Heart struggle never ends. I think I like a girl, but I don't know. My heart wants to proceed, my head wants to proceed slowly, with caution, and defences. I'm repairing the extensive damage up there, I swear.

Tonight was amazing. It was bucketing down with rain, as most of you would know, so, yeah, and I went to go pick up my Indian food from Indi's on the corner. It was amazing. The streets were empty, the suburb silent (apart from the rain). I have never felt more whole. I love the rain. I love the smell, the taste, the life it brings. I love walking through it, jumping in puddles, running from it when it's heavy as fuck. I love the grey skies. I love the illuminated world with the bolt of lightning and crack of thunder. I love the foggy mornings, can't see a thing.
I love winter.

I'm tired, and I don't know.
Love.

Myself.

I posted this on Facebook, so I'm posting it here too.

est. 1993

I'm Justin Free Williams, I'm sixteen, I attend Glenunga International High School, and my life is dandy.
I like anime, ice tea, papercraft, Indian food, soup, education, literature, a good book, a good bottle of scotch, music, the past, comics, and Science-Fiction.
I hate liars, country music, rap music, stereotypes, drugs, bad sandwiches (which is why I only allow m grandmother to make them), American comedy, and bad movies which weren't worth my money.

I play bass, and I'm in a band. This band, is called My Princess, Your Castle. We haven't written anything, and fuck, we haven't even played together yet, but yeah, we could go places.

I'm bi, but i'm more heterosexual than I am homosexual. I usually find myself wrapped up in thoughts about girls (for those who've noticed lately, Bethany's a prime example), and fuck, I hate it so much, but it's who I am. Currently, I am looking for a relationship, but I'm in no real rush or anything, I'm not even fussed if I do get in one or not. What happens, happens.

I was born in Australia, but I don't see myself as an "Australian". I see myself as a Scot, and slightly, a Frenchman. The majority of my family, is of Scottish decent, while there are bits of British, Welsh and French there too. My family once owned the Cardoness Castle in South-West Scotland. The last McCulloch to own it was executed, and the tower was left deserted, so, theoretically, it's kind of my family property.

Currently, I'm undertaking year eleven, at Glenunga International High School, and have studied there since yesterday (1/2/2010). Before that, I studied years eight through ten at Underdale high School. changed, due to the distance, and courses at GIHS becoming possible career pathways.

When the time comes, after year twelve, I wish to study at university (as one does), to become a psychologist. I love the way the brain works, and human feelings have always amazed me. I wish to become a psychologist, so one day, I can eventually work out what's going on in my head, and then understand myself, like I've longed for all these years. Maybe, later in my career as a psychologist, I'd study part time either, to gain a PhD in psychology, and become a doctor in the science, or study to become a high school teacher, and teach psychology in schools.

Uh, shit. I don't know what to write about. Let's get onto the shit stuff.
I suffer from depression, anxiety, and severe anger management issues. Lately, all have been pretty much under control, but it's always a chance that something could trigger any one of them. I'm either a good person, who makes bad choices, or a bad person, who makes good choices. I'm trying to become a good person, who makes good choices, unless I'm already one, then I wish to continue to make good choices, and make better choices. I push people away all too often, usually when they get too close. I hate hurting people, more than anything, weather it be emotional, physical or psychological.

Uh, I really don't know what else to write.
If you have any questions about me, or want to get to know me, just send me a message, or something. Text me if you want, I've always got my phone on me.

i.am.that.guy@live.com.au
0433372544

And yeah, I love meeting people, so, yeah.