This blog will be about my angst (insert LiveJournal joke).
I feel alone most of the time (when I'm not, I'm in the presence of a few particular people), and as weird as it sounds, I feel as though most of my issues would seem some what irrelevant if I had a girlfriend. Lately I've been longing for that feeling of "being with" someone. I don't really know why, I guess I just want that connection. I know my track record with dating is awfully pitiful, and by no means am I proud of it, but, yeah. I don't know.
Most of you would know that I grew up resenting my father, and as a result I've never had a real father figure. I walk home from town some times, and if I catch a different bus from town, I walk through a park. Both ways, I often see fathers with their son's, and I get sad. Because I've never had a father figure, I don't know what to expect, but I know what I'd like. That's why I'm going to be the fucking greatest dad ever.
All in good time.
Sometimes I think it would be good if everything started all over again. In the anime, The Big O, all the citizen's of Paradigm City (a fictional city, main setting for the show) lost all their memories forty years before the beginning of the series. I wish something like that would happen in real life. Everyone would forget everything they ever knew, all their relationships, and everything. Sure, we'd be able to get some kind of lingering feeling from things like Facebook, and photos, but we'd just start fresh. Initially we'd find comfort in each other due to the loss of everything, and grudges we'd have now would be gone. Sure, we'd be alone, but we'd come together quite quickly.
I'm going to bed now, or soon, and watching 5 Centimeters Per Second. It's sad, and that's what I want right now.
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